Sunday, August 17, 2008

What's Up With Me

Depression mostly. I've had a bad case of it lately - more than I've had in a long time. Current stresses of trying to maintain the housing that I currently have, are a primary cause. Also, the let down after seeing my kids. My hope was that I would be able to reestablish a relationship with them. But, the meeting I had with them was only a one time deal - it was a great moment, but it was only a moment and nothing more.

It has gotten so bad that I've gone to a clinic so to start some counseling and some meds. I might be able to start taking Paxil again, and that would be good.

I still spend a bit of time in Second Life, but I no longer "play" there, but now only work. I have a few retail stores in Second Life, selling a brand of women's avatar clothing called, 'Coconut Ice.' And from the proceeds of these sales, I am now able to pay a portion of the rent on my real life housing. That's a good thing, and is keeping me from being even more depressed.

From a lack of resources, I'm down to eating just one meal a day, some elbow macaroni and a can of corn, or carrots, or some such combination. That's not such a bad thing, since I need to lose weight. But the hunger is rather distracting. Today, I did seek out breakfast at one church, and lunch at another - churches that feed the homeless on Sundays. Both are a couple miles from my apartment, so today I was actually able to eat until I was full - something I have not done in a while. And at the breakfast, I arrived early so I could help set up.

Funny, but when I was more in a "literal" homeless state, i had access to more food. But in housing, I am farther away from food resources.

There is still a lot of foot traffic and dope dealing going on around my housing complex - a lot of people without permission to be there are hanging out there. Supposedly there are rules for the residents to follow, restricting who they can have in their units and at what times, but few seem to adhere to those rules, and the owners of the complex have done nothing to enforce these rules. So, I get people knocking on my door at all hours - no I don't answer the door. I usually don't get a complete night's sleep for it.

Anyway, what's up with you?

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there! Kind of random, but what music have you been listening to? When I had a friend first begin to be medicated for depression, the doctor asked them to be careful about what music they listened to, and I think it was an impacting factor.

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  2. You must have had a dealer in your place before you moved in. Hang a sign out front that says "No crack here, beat it" :)

    Good job on getting some income going from Second Life! That's something I've been curious about for awhile but my laptop doesn't have quite enough memory to handle the game.

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