What's Life Without Purpose?

A bit of excitement followed by no more excitement can bring depression - like postpartum depression. I was excited about going to Denver, but I won't be going to Denver now. I was excited about the elections, but the elections are over. And now I just stare at this computer screen, feeling lifeless. Of all the stuff to do here, I don't have any motivation to do anything.

I've lost the hope of ever having a relationship with my children, so I no longer have that to live for.

I still have issues that prevent me from getting a real job and having a steady and reliable income - income necessary to keep my apartment. Soon enough, I'll be without a place again.

The elections are over. And though I am happy beyond words for Obama's success, that battle is over and done. Yet, Republicans have taken over Tennessee politics. And that means that things will not be improving for the poor and homeless here anytime soon. More than likely, things will only get worse.

I don't feel like I have anything new to the conversation of homelessness. Most people don't listen anyway. And those that do are only choir folks, if you know what I mean.

The Nashville Downtown Partnership continues it's harassment of the homeless unabated. And is actually succeeding in spreading it's influence. Even the pastor of the Downtown Presbyterian Church gets all excited talking about being best friends with downtown property developers. (Yeah, even downtown developers need friends in the church, but I've NEVER heard this "man of God" ever talk about having friendships with poor and homeless folks, even though several hundred come to the church every week for help.)

You know, it really baffles me how people who have so much, spend so much of their time and energy deciding what poor people can't have.

But I digress.

There are things about me, things I will not talk about, or blog about, that will always prevent me from living like most other average people do. And that really caps it all. Even the things I can do are not inspiring me. It took me days just to write this post. Blah.