Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Tomorrow Is My Birthday

Tomorrow is my birthday, I'll be turning 50 years old. Wow, that's such a big number. A number belonging to old people, grumpy bosses or nosey mother-in-laws. But there is nothing typical about me. I know.

I see pictures on FB of all the get-togethers, celebrations, birthday parties. People smiling, happy, being near each other, talking and telling jokes. Enjoying life. There will be no birthday party for me tomorrow. There never has been. I don't draw people to myself in a way that inspires them to do such things.

Ten years ago, on my fortieth birthday, I worked. At the end of the work day I asked my few co workers if they wanted to go do something. They all declined. So I went by myself to a strip club. A strange thing happened there. It must have fallen out of someone's pocket earlier, but in the darkness and strobe lights I found 3 one hundred dollar bills folded up in a chair near the stage. I didn't leave that place until most of that money was spent.

I have no plans for tomorrow. I won't be going to a strip club this time. At my age now there's not much point. But who knows, I might get lucky, somehow.

1 comment:

  1. Belated greeting, with wishes that this is the start of your best year yet. 50 is not too old; just wait till you hit 60. Yet all those years on the street may have taken a toll on your body, that homed people do not experience.

    I have never had to diet for weight loss; but have read that it is best to lose slowly, the same way as it was put on, one pound at a time. So many friends through the years, are enthusiastic when they have started new diets, and soon fall off that wagon.

    It truly takes a lot of effort and time to change eating habits we developed as a child. One of your comments said it: do not want to feel deprived, which somehow causes a jump back to habits trying to break. (ate 1/2 slice of large slice of cake, rather than no cake at all)