Friday, November 9, 2012

Can I End It All?

Still, there are other things I want and need to be doing with my life, but I am spending the majority of my time on the internet.   Thing is, the internet is no longer a real necessity for me.   I could, with the right amount of will power, live my life without ever getting back on line again.   Now, I could see that if I was drawing a real income from the internet, I would need to be online.   But that just isn't happening.  Sure I get occasional donations on my paypal account, but life requires much more.    If I was spending my internet time out selling the homeless paper instead, i would be doing much better.    In the beginning, I had nothing better to do than be online,  then when I started blogging I had a real purpose for spending my entire day on the computer.    But I've said just about everything I have wanted to say, on the blog.  And the vast majority of visits to the blog are to posts I made years ago.   The blog doesn't need me anymore.  It runs at about 250 visits a day, whether I post anything new on it or not.  And none of those readers are sending donations, so to make my time online worth it.  And there are other distractions on the internet besides the blog.   I had really hoped that somehow or another I'd be able to find a way  to make a living on the internet, but nothing has really panned out.  Sure, I have gained a lot from my activities on the internet - I'm certainly a much better person today, in many ways, all for my efforts online.   But I've come to the end of all that the internet can do for me.    It really is time to move on, and to do things with my life outside of this keyboard and screen.    Here's the biggest problem, though.   I once read that anything a person does for 21 straight days can become a habit.   Well, I've been doing the internet for 21 straight years.   I am very addicted to the internet.   Already, I have attempted (several times) and failed miserably, to end my facebook account.   It would certainly help if I didn't have this laptop - it is too convenient.  I doubt if I'd be able to get anything for it, if I tried to sell it.   Should I just throw it in the trash?   it would help some if I did.  More than likely, though, I'd just spend more time going to the library to use their public assess computers.   I don't know what I'm going to do.  I need to do something.